IT'S OKAY! I'M STILL ALIVE!!!

It has been a week since I let parents know of that news.
That Saturday afternoon was filled with shouting/yelling/cursing. It was to be expected from my parents.

Next day, I didn't seem to exist. Parents just gave me evil looks every time I glanced at them.
I didn't know what was worse, getting nagged at, or just null-communication.

Monday came, dad asked me to help him out to rebuild a brick wall.
Whilst we worked, we had a calm, father/son chat. It was good.
Somehow we managed to talk about getting myself a girlfriend/'wife'!!

Went to the pub with dad later that evening.

Mum still didn't talk to me.

Finally, a reply from the uni...

"....decision to be upheld and that you be advised to withdraw..."
Hmm.... bollux. So I got no sympathy for my letter. Heartless f*cking bastards.
Ah well. Sux to be in 3rd year of something I don't fully enjoy.

Didn't sleep too early last night, had something on my mind.
Spent ages thinking about it.

Do I actually like programming?
Not that much.

Do I like maths that resembles A-level stuff?
Not a single bit.

What do you like then?
Being creative. Making media. Films, music, pictures.

Why don't you change course to suit what you like then?
Oh, why didn't I think of that before?!?!?

Sorted. ZZzzzz.....

Spent a while searching online for a course that I could do.
Came up with 2. BSc Multimedia at the Institute. or BSc Multimedia Technology at the Uni.

Both the websites didn't give much info on these courses. So I guess I have to ring up and have a chat with them really soon.

Argh. Need to contact LEA too. Let them know that I've withdrawn from the course.

Here's what could happen.

1. I transfer successfuly to a Multimedia degree. and thats that. I graduate in 2-3 years time.
2. I fail to transfer, so I have to find a job in Swansea so I can try again the following year.
3. Either of the above happens, and parents decide not to give me anymore privileges. (i.e. I get kicked out of house). I have to survive on my own 2 feet from then on.
4. LEA decide not to give me anymore money, so it'll make my life in Swansea a tad bit harder.


Whatever happens, I have to be in Swansea, because I already paid in full for the house there. And I won't want to let my housemates down by dropping out. Especially Rach, I can't leave her in the house with those 3 boys she hardly knows... :P

Mum came into my room whilst I was typing this blog, and asked me about the letter. I told her that the Uni don't think i'm good enough. I'll tell everyone after lunch. All she said was, "Your father is going to kill you."

If after this blog, I seemed to have disappeared off the planet, please give me a call to see how i'm doing...

Cards as weapons

Find yourself in a hairy situation with lots of scary not very nice people?
Also with a pack of playing cards in your pocket?

Arm yourself with the info from this website!
It may save your life! ;P

Card Throwing Technique

studying hard, and actually taking it in! :O

Currently studying Algorithms and Complexity, which isn't as bad as I though. Just going through Dr OK's notes, and also reading the extra material from the big ass Intro to Algorithms book to support revision...
Was studying it yesterday, and got so into it, i didn't realise it was 2am already... oops.
Need to goto next stage of studying this by actually answering past papers.

Anyway, what have I been up to since last week?
One's older sister had paid a visit over weekend. she also bought along with her 2 furry feline companions; Jack and Alfie.

Because of dad, they were confined to the toilet.
Dad doesn't like pets. They smell and break stuff if you let them loose around the house.
I don't think so.

How am I? Well.....

Currently just sitting and waiting for stuff to happen.

Meanwhile, I'm restarting revision.

Ever had one of those days where you need a soundtrack for it?
Well, the soundtrack from now on is: Nine Inch Nails - We're in this together

Its me, and my notes. Not much is going to get in our way.

you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow
you and me
if the world should break in two
until the very end of me
until the very end of you

Now you know why the soundtrack. :)

...from that moment on...

Something in my mind had stopped.
It was that time when I crept downstairs at 9am. Picked up my mail, and carefully cut open my results letter.
"...Advised to Withdraw...." Followed by the 12 module results that were mostly below 40%.
My time had slowed down, my senses were heightened, I could feel the entire deep beats of my heart in my head.
I silently went back upstairs with the letter, and went back into bed.

I cried in my mind.

Am I worth anything? Should I go on with my walk of life towards the sun with this crooked 'shadow' following behind me? I have not met the expectations of my family and my friends. I will be marked as a lowlife by my parent, not worth anything to anyone.

I did not see this coming, I increased my efficiency of revision by a significant amount during the 2nd semester because of how crap I did in my first semester. All that amounts to nothing. The university sees no more value in me.

At this point, the reader of this blog must be thinking that I have given up.

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!

I'm not going to give up 2 years of uni getting towards my degree just because a letter tells me to sod off...

I'm going to write a letter, and put my heart into it. I want my degree damnit!
Don't deny me access to it by telling me to get lost because I won't.

If I have to take a significant number of supplementary exams, then so be it.
The 3rd year is within reach. I just need to run up and jump across the gap to get to it.
I will not re-do my second year. Upon getting to my final year, I swear on my life that I will give it 100%, I will significantly reduce my social life if need be. Priority one will be my final year modules. Minimal or no karate, no joining of society's with a very good reason.
apologies in advanced to my future housemates, I'll be a boring person to live with. I may have to sacrifice a decent friendship or 2 so I can have more time devoted to my studies. Because, I know that I'm on my own in the 3rd year, no one can help you.

Parents were right, if you had a long thought, and put the components of university life in priority, the degree must come first, then friends following close behind. Your friends will be alongside you when you're all holding that piece of paper in your hands at the graduation ceremony.

Anyway, I feel better after thinking things through, I will appeal, and do the supplementary exams. Get to 3rd year, and put foot to arse. 'nuff said.

...Such a boring day

indeed, it was a boring, dull day.

Why did I bother getting out of bed? X_X

Woke up. had sweet spag tong shui for brunch.
Watched a bit of the F1.

Washed dad's Benz.

Played a bit of Splinter Cell. Chatted online for a while.

Whilst browsing the web, I accidently came across some really cool videos. :)
Observe: Japanese Drifting

I decided to look further onto the subject of japanese drifting events, then i came across the following.

The Jap's are absolutely wild with their super cars, here's a website with lots of videos of their jaw dropping antics.
Ex Vi Termini

You're gonna see the Japs do speeds of mostly 190mph+ or 300km/h on private events and on the public road.
You have to see to believe! So incredible.

On a related subject. I'm going to safely say that i'll be buying Need For Speed : Underground 2 when it's released in November this year. It looks damn good. and also it looks to have so much more than the 1st incarnation. I'll be looking forward to the Free Drive mode where you can explore the entire area 200km+ of the game. just like GTA3 and GTA:VC. I'll be waiting....

...rewind.... lets start again.

Since last time.

I've moved back home,


I've moved house in Swansea (with a few problems I might add),

I've also done a bit of driving around Wales.

Currently, I'm looking for a part time job over the summer. I've re-typed up my CV and submitted to a few places.

How odd, a few weeks have passed, and I'm sure I've got plenty to say.... but... I don't remember much details from the last few weeks... :S

I've found out today that a few of my mates from the course have got their results today. So... I better get out of bed earlier in order to pick up the mail before parents do.....Well.... there's a different story altogether...... shhh.....

I want a job badly... parents don't want me to be around.....

Oh, If you're an employer looking for a computer d00d with some skills, then contact me!
Here's my CV too.
My CV